Befriending Measurements

I recently had a meeting with a colleague during which I was vigorously sharing my detailed analysis of 2019 and a clear plan for 2020. My colleague paused, starring at one number and said, “Wait. Did you say all of this is income going away?” I flippantly said, “Yes, but look at what I have planned!” Suddenly I saw that even though I had looked at the numbers, I hadn’t truly seen the one with the negative impact. 

My enthusiastic nature leads me toward highlighting positive progress, and even hiding negative indicators so I won’t see them and feel like a failure. This is nice of my inner cheerleader but not helpful in the long run. 

Tracking progress toward goals can evoke procrastination, trepidation, and down-right fear. If you aimed high, saw what you wanted to accomplish, and we’re excited about the possibilities, it can be hard to compare your ideal vision with the stark reality of what actually happened.

Yet your ability to see clearly is directly related to skills of self-awareness (the foundation of emotional intelligence) and self-leadership. How can you lead yourself in viewing measurements in a way that will help you accomplish what matters most?

Here are some ideas—using self-awareness and leadership—to design your own measurement and goal-achievement process.

Internal Dialog

If you’re prone to slipping into less-than-kind self-talk, prepare in advance. Remind yourself that the measurement reflects what you’re doing, not your worth as a person. Notice what you’re saying to yourself and be kind. What would you say to a friend facing a similar situation? Brené Brown reminds us, “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” What we say to ourselves internally can transform doom-and-gloom thinking into self-compassion that will energize us to take positive steps forward. 

Before evaluating results, start by centering yourself with a breathing exercise. For example, use the four-square breathing technique. Count to four as you breathe in, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four, and repeat a few times. When you look at the results you’re measuring, notice what you say to yourself internally. If needed, change your self-talk to be more helpful. Being kind to yourself takes practice and is crucial in self-awareness and leadership.

Perspective Shift

Write or think about the results from a perspective that’s meaningful for you. What’s important about the goal related to the measurement you’re tracking? How does it connect to your whole business or life? How does it align or not align with your values? Sometimes a tiny viewpoint variation makes a gigantic difference. According to Wayne Dyer, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Try it for yourself.

Feedforward Lantern

Think of measurements as feedback pointing the way to the future—feedforward. How is the measurement that you’re viewing helping you see what to do in the future? Imagine the measurement as a lantern shining the way forward on a path toward the future that you want to create. What is the measurement illuminating? Do you need to change directions? Do you need to continue on the same path for a while longer? Based on what you see, have the courage to choose the next step forward.

Habit Highlight

Is there a habit to start or stop that will help you do better? James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says, “Habit formation is a long race. It often takes time for the desired results to appear. And while you are waiting for the long-term rewards of your efforts to accumulate, you need a reason to stick with it in the short-term. You need some immediate feedback that shows you are on the right path.” Measurements are that immediate feedback.

See It Your Way

How do you like to look at your measurements? I love using colored markers and big flip charts or whiteboards every chance I get. The colors make it more fun and writing helps connect me to the data. Upbeat music is the cherry on top! My last step in the analysis is now to say it out loud to another human for a reality check. How do you like to view what you’re tracking? Does it help to have a colleague to share with? Do you love Excel spreadsheets, tables, or mind maps? Consider trying a new method. Notice what works for you and do it.

By improving your skills in self-awareness and self-leadership, you notice what works best for you and then lead yourself forward. Measurements are your friend, your co-conspirator in accomplishing what matters most. How might you befriend measurements? I’d love to hear about your approach. Send me a note.

Trying Easy Rather Than Hard

Having fun is allowed!

From playing a sport to working a job, the phrase “trying hard” implies that we’re attempting to perform at our very best, pushing ourselves harder to go beyond our limits. Why? I believe it’s because we want to be successful on our own terms.

We receive accolades for trying hard: “She’s a hard worker.” “He’s trying hard to be the best leader he can be.” Yay for us! Most of the time. The problem comes when trying imperceptibly slips from positive to negative.

On the positive side, trying drives us to go all-in toward what we truly want to accomplish. It feels light, invigorating, and clear, like we know what we want and how to get it. And dare I say…it’s fun!

On the negative side, trying forces us to do what we think we should do (a hallmark red flag!) which causes over-complication and stress. It feels heavy, tense, and anxiety ridden with a tinge of panic, ready to explode at any moment.

What if the opposite could be equally effective and way more enjoyable? How might we try easy?

That’s what suddenly occurred to me in the thick of 2020 planning. I pressed pause on trying hard and began exploring what was already flowing easily toward me.

Here are some ways to experiment with trying easy. Take a deep breath with a long exhale, let your shoulders fall away from your ears, and give these a whirl.

Examine Energizing and Depleting

This simple step is essential. Consider every aspect of your life while pondering these questions: Which people and what activities energize and excite you? Which people and what activities deplete and drain you?

If you’re not sure, begin by paying attention to how you feel. For example, are some work projects easy to do because you love doing them? Do some tasks take a ridiculously long time because you dread doing them? Who are the people or groups you’re around that leave you feeling great, positive, energized? Who are the people or groups that leave you feeling exhausted, drained, even a bit depressed?

For this exercise, write what and who are energizing you and what or who are draining you. Follow the good juju to try easy.

Create a Sacred and Fun Space to Explore

Creating an intentional space to seriously play will loosen up that trying hard tension so it can relax into trying easy.

When I’m doing this activity, I love to take over an entire room! I stock up on flip chart paper, colorful sticky notes, and have lots of colored markers handy. Playing music that makes me want to move is a new tool for me. Its power to shift my perspective from stuck-in-the-same to anything-is-possible has surprised me. Leaving everything in place for a while means I can continue working in spurts over time and see the gestalt of the whole project.

Identify Your Support Peeps

Who are the people, groups, and/or businesses supporting you now? Those are your peeps! Make a list of people who support you personally, professionally, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and/or spiritually.

How might connecting with your peeps more intentionally help you go with the flow of trying easy?

Take A Break

This can be so hard sometimes! Stepping away for a break can unplug you from the trying hard circuit so you can make a conscious choice to reconnect with the strong current of flow. When you’re there, the buzz of electricity is palpable. Your brilliance can shine!

Capture Your Ideas

Find a method that works for you to capture what comes to you while you’re in the trying easy mode. It could be a spreadsheet, a form you create or find, colored markers on a flip chart, or an app. Documenting your ideas allows your brain to let go of them for now which builds self-trust and brings a sense of calm. You can rest knowing that your precious ideas are tucked away for safe keeping.

Experiment with trying easy and notice how it’s different from trying hard. What are the results? How does it feel? How might you tap into that easeful flow again? I’d love to hear what works for you! Drop me a line at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Your Body as a Decision-Making Power Tool

By Jalene Case 

Plugging into our bodies’ way of communicating is like using a decision-making power tool. It quickly drills to the core. Whether we’re struggling to make tiny, seemingly inconsequential choices or gigantic, clearly life-changing decisions, our bodies know the answer first.

It’s easy to rush through life without taking time to notice our physical sensations. In fact we often try to actively ignore our bodies by not listening to their plea for sleep, urge to move, or hunger for good food. Feel familiar?

That denial of our bodies’ voice also shows up in our decision-making process. For example, have you ever made a list of pros and cons to help you make a choice and, more often than not, ended up in analysis-paralysis? Did you feel that even though there were more pros on the list, you wanted to make the opposite choice? Interpreting what our bodies are trying to tell us is more than a gut-feeling-style approach.

Health expert Dr. Christiane Northrup sums it up well, “Our inner guidance comes to us through our feelings and body wisdom first ⁠— not through intellectual understanding.”  

Here are some ways to practice connecting with your body’s wisdom as a tool in the decision-making process.

Feeling Yes and No

Think back to a time when you made a memorable decision. The instant you chose, did you feel something in your body, such as a cold clenching in your gut or a flood of warm relief in your chest? Paying attention to your body grounds you, brings you into the present, and is a pathway for listening to your inner wisdom.

Read through these steps and then close your eyes and go through the process:

• Ground your feet firmly on the floor and take a deep breath into your belly. Let the rest of the world drift away. Breathe naturally for a few breaths and feel your body’s sensations. Where do you feel tension, pain, tingles, or warmth? Simply notice. You don’t need to do anything right now. Relax. Bring all your energy to this moment.

• Bring a question into your mind and feel the answer in your body. For example, you may be deciding whether to accept a job.

• Imagine what your life would look and feel like if you said yes to the job. Include every detail you can imagine with your senses. Imagine what you’re wearing, the location of the job, the work you’ll be doing, the people you’ll be around, the scent of the place, the taste, the colors. Imagine yourself in the world you created by saying yes to this decision.

• Notice what you feel in your body. Where do you feel it? Is there tension? A warmth? A tingle? A glow? A knot? Does it feel like a yes or a no?

• Next, imagine saying no to the job and go through the same process. After feeling the yes and the no in your body, which choice feels right for you at this moment?

Flip to Choose

In a similar vein, a co-worker, Mindy, taught me a different twist on feeling your way to a decision. Think about the choice you’re facing and then flip a coin. Imagine that heads means yes and tails means no. Look at the result and immediately notice what you wish the coin had revealed. Therein lies your heart’s true desire for the answer.

Emotional Vocabulary

“How do you feel?” can be a simple and yet, vexing question. It’s easy to respond with good, bad, mad, happy, sad, and even, “I don’t know.” Add to that our common business culture of not revealing feelings. Naming our emotions becomes tricky! However, connecting more specifically with how we’re feeling can help us see the nuances of a decision more clearly.

Dr. Brené Brown is in the process of researching emotional literacy. I imagine this will help us recognize our feelings more precisely by expanding the words we use to describe them. For example, describing how we feel as overwhelmed instead of simply tired or worried instead of mad. The words we use can often change the context of the situation and, as a result our actions.

Write to Feel

Bring a particular situation to mind. Start with the prompt of, “I feel…” and then write for five minutes without stopping. You might include the physical location of sensations in your body, and a description or metaphor that illustrates how it feels. Often the process of writing will bring clarity to the words swirling around in your mind and the feelings emanating from your body.

Mindfully Feel

This is my favorite quick connection to my body’s voice. Go to a private place in which you’ll be comfortable closing your eyes for a minute.

• Close your eyes. Put your hand on your heart. Take a deep breath.

• Notice the feeling of your hand on your body, and your feet on the ground or your bottom on the seat.

• Bring a situation to mind, perhaps a pending decision. Internally ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” Immediately notice the physical sensations that come. People hear their body in different ways so simply notice what happens for you. There is no right or wrong way to listen to your body. How do you interpret what you hear?

Heeding our bodies’ wisdom takes practice, like any skill we want to improve. Choose one of the methods above (or create your own!) and practice listening to what your body has to share about your next decision.

I would love to hear what works for you. Please send me a note at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

How to Create an Environment that Supports You

By Jalene Case 

The environment we build for ourselves—both externally and internally—influences how we show up and engage in our lives. Look around you. As you take in your surroundings, how do you feel? That feeling will follow you into whatever you’re doing next.

From 2015 to 2017, my husband and I traveled on our motorcycles, mostly in Latin America. My ability to control the surroundings changed dramatically and yet, the external world still influenced how I felt inside. For example, when we stayed in a place that felt good to me, I was inspired to write a blog post or make a video call to friends at home. When I found a private place to write in my journal, I could process the myriad of travel experiences.

Now I have more control over my surroundings. I decide how I want those spaces to look externally so they rev up my internal desires, goals, and visions. 

So how do your create your own supportive environment? Here’s an outline and some questions to consider: 

External Environment

Workspace

What does your dream workspace look like? Is it starkly minimalistic or wildly chaotic? Whichever way you choose, use an organization system that fits your style to increase productivity and decrease frustration. Give yourself permission to design the best space for you.

Storage Spaces (computers, bags, vehicles, etc.)

We can easily fall into the trap of storing too much “just in case” we need it and end up lugging around or being surrounded by a lot of unneeded clutter. What would serve you best to have nearby? How can you access it quicker? What can you let go? 

People

The people we surround ourselves with establish our “norm.” In other words, if most the people you hang out with don’t exercise, you probably won’t exercise either. If most the people surrounding you are always learning, you most likely will also. 

Malcolm Gladwell says, “The values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.” 

Places

Where do you spend time outside your work and home? Are those places supporting you? For example, trying to eat healthy and yet going to fast food places is incongruent. Trying to meet people from the business community and joining your local Chamber of Commerce is supportive.

Internal Environment

Emotional

Our emotions drive us even though we’re usually not aware of it. Whether we rank high on the Emotional Intelligence (EQ) scale or we’re a bit out of touch with our emotions, we can all benefit by improving in this area. 

The foundation of EQ is self-awareness. To grow that skill, try this:

• Ask yourself three times a day, “How am I feeling?” Set an alarm on your phone and when it goes off, internally ask yourself the question and answer with a word that best describes your feeling. This will grow your self-awareness and your vocabulary for describing emotions.

Physical

How does your body feel? Take a scan of your body and consider what you might do to help it feel better.

I had a big ah-ha when my husband and I were out traveling on our motorcycles. I knew it was important to sit-up straight when I was riding but I wasn’t doing it. As a result, I had to contend with an injury for several months. The ah-ha was that in order to sit-up straight, I had to strengthen my stomach muscles. That meant I had to exercise. The same is true for standing up straight and feeling energetic on a regular basis. In order to do those things, we need to move our bodies. 

Mindfulness: Combining Our External and Internal Environments

Mindfulness is defined as, “a technique in which one focuses one’s full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.” For me, this powerful combination of internal and external environments brings feelings of peace, calm, and focus. 

Try it yourself: for 10 seconds, notice the feeling of your feet connecting with the ground or your bottom connecting with the seat. Simply noticing connects our mind to our body. What do you notice? How do you feel? How can you support yourself in this moment?

We have the power to create an internal and external environment that supports us in being who we want to be and doing what matters most to us. Take a look around you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “What is one thing I could change to make my environment more supportive?”

Squeeze the Best Out of Your Summer

Summer feels like it races by at twice the speed compared to the other seasons. We fill the long summer days with as much fun as possible while trying not to fall behind on our workload, but this can leave us feeling pressed for time and exhausted. How do we revive ourselves so we can enjoy our fun and still bring our best selves to work?

This summer, I thought that combining both work and fun into three weeks on the road would be a brilliant idea. It wasn’t. The long drives left me more tired than I expected, which resulted in a less-than-optimal energy level for my work. By the time I got home, I was wiped out with no scheduled time to recharge for the full workload ahead.

Rejuvenation took conscious effort. But through this I learned techniques to help myself before I melt into a puddle of unproductive, uninspired, unhappy goo.

Here are the “summer squeeze strategies” I used:

Ground Yourself

Did your parents punish you as a child by “grounding” you? Mine did. If you’re not familiar with the concept, it goes something like this. Parent: You are grounded for the weekend. You can’t go anywhere or do anything with your friends.

That discipline method came to mind recently when I felt depleted because I had overly scheduled my life with fun and work. In a flash of insight I realized, I need to ground myself!

When I shared this insight with my adult son he wisely pointed out that grounding helps the kid who is spinning out of control and needs a break. Spot on.

Ground yourself for the amount of time that feels right for you. Let go of the urge to cram more into your summer experience and instead make time to totally chill out. I grounded myself for a whole day and did what I wanted all day long. I didn’t work or take calls; I didn’t let others have a say in how I spent my time. It was divine. The next workday, I felt energized and ready to take on the world!

Awareness First

Take advantage of the space you create through “grounding” yourself to practice self-awareness, which is the foundation of emotional intelligence (EQ). When we are continually busy, whether for work or fun, it’s tough to recognize how we’re feeling. If we can’t tune into how we’re feeling, we can’t practice the next step of EQ, which is self-regulation. A basic version of self-awareness and regulation might look something like this:

• I notice how I’m feeling by pausing and naming the feeling. Example: I feel drained.

• I consider what I might do to help myself. Example: I will cancel my plans this evening so I can go to bed early.

Sometimes the first step in that process is the hardest. The cool thing about EQ is that it’s a skill we can develop. To practice naming your feelings, set an alarm on your phone three times a day to ask yourself, How am I feeling? Tune in, name it, and silently answer to yourself.

Create & Think

With so many people taking vacation time during the summer, your office can feel a little more open and often projects slow a bit. Use that space for creativity. I suggest the wild writing technique offered by Natalie Goldberg in Wild Mind to increase clarity on a topic. This method bypasses our inner critic so we tap into what I like to think of as our inner operating system. A surprising perspective emerges every time I do it.

Wild writing rules:

• Think of a subject you want to explore. For example: that new project idea you have or a problem you’ve been trying to solve.

• With that subject in mind, begin writing by using a prompt such as, I know or I remember.

• Write for 10-minutes and do not stop writing. If you don’t know what to write, write anything you want until a shift happens. For example, write: “I don’t know what to write” as many times as it takes. Something new will come.

• Do not go back and correct anything. Leave the misspellings and punctuation errors.

• Go for the jugular. Know that you can burn it later. Write what you truly feel and think!

• You will actually use two writing prompts. For the first 10 minutes, start with I know or I remember. Take a break and shake out your hand. Then for the second 10 minutes, start with I don’t know or I don’t remember.

Try these three tactics to balance work and fun this summer. If you try any of these techniques out, I would love to hear about them. Email me at jalene@jalenecase.com.

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What’s New?

Self-Leadership: Insight to Action…I love giving presentations to groups on this topic.

I believe that we are all leaders and that when we connect with our hearts and do what matters most, we are positively contributing to making our world a better place.

What group or organization do you know of that would benefit from a presentation like this? Send me your ideas.

Thank you!

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Travel Lightly is a motorcycle themed evening in Portland — but you don’t have to be a rider to have some aha moments!

My colleague Liz will take you on a ride through your stories that might be holding you back from doing what you truly want to do. Then I’ll help you open the throttle and fly down the road by designing a strategy to get those things done!

Explore more.

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Club Prosper is for business owners in the Newport area who want to have thriving businesses!

Julia and I are combining our expertises in business building & leadership to help you increase the success of your business.

Explore more.

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Leadership Lincoln is offered through the Newport Chamber of Commerce and I’m honored to be the new Leadership Development Facilitator for the program.

Looking for a way to get connected with other leaders in the community, learn more about resources available to you, and become a better leader? This is for you.

Explore more.

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Reach out to me and let’s talk about how I might support you and/or your business in getting what matters most done.

COACHING • TEAMS • WORKSHOPS • SPEAKING • GROUPS

Opposites That Feed Each Other

Tips to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Be More Productive

Bring to mind your last off-the-grid, disconnected-style vacation. If you can’t think of one, you’re not alone. Even though we know (somewhere deep down!) that taking a complete break from work will increase our work productivity, we often resist.

I recently returned from a one-week vacation during which I fasted from email and social media. The urge to check-check-check was mighty. It reminded me of a chicken’s endless drive to peck-peck-peck its food. The problem was that my habit of continually checking was not nourishing me! Instead, I was doing a great job of sustaining a constant level of alertness mixed with anxiety, which was depleting my energy.

My coach wisely challenged me to leave my phone at home. I involuntarily gasped and wondered to myself, Could I do that? After negotiating, I agreed to take my phone so I could use the travel apps, and hide the email and social media apps so I wouldn’t check them for a week.

The Set-Up

Like any fasting program, it’s important to plan in advance for not checking email and social media. Here’s what I did:

• Stopped 100% of the notifications on all my phone apps

• Moved email and social media apps so they weren’t visible on my phone’s home screen (I hid them from myself!)

• Notified clients with whom I had projects-in-the-works so they wouldn’t panic

• Set an Out of Office message saying I was on an off-the-grid vacation and would return email starting on a specific date (I felt that saying I was on “vacation” wasn’t enough because we still expect people will respond even though they’re on vacation!)

At the end of my email/social media fast, I felt simultaneously wildly expansive in my business visions and grounded in my willingness to make tough decisions. Then I wondered, If the opposite of work can nourish our work, what other opposites feed each other?

OPPOSITES THAT FEED EACH OTHER

Courageous Yoga

Practicing yoga has taught me more about being courageous than I ever expected. Attempting to move my body into new poses, nuanced by energetic intentions, breathing, and sometimes flat-out guts has strengthened my ability to try new things at work.

Here’s what that looks like: I remember the first time the instructor asked us to do a handstand against the wall. I placed my hands on the yoga mat about a foot away from the wall, feet about hip distance wide, feet on the floor. My body was in a triangle shape. Then I tried to fling (my word, not the instructors!) my legs up so that my feet touched the wall. It was unexpectedly hard! I was scared. It took several tries until — wham! — I hit the wall.

There’s a direct correlation between stepping outside my body’s comfort zone in yoga and improving my skill of being innovative with clients. It’s all about getting more familiar and bolder outside my comfort zone.

What might you do to grow your courage for stepping outside your comfort zone?

Taking Breaks vs. Working Longer

I’m guilty of never taking breaks and even eating while working at my computer. When I started taking morning and afternoon breaks plus a whole lunch hour, I was surprised. I felt refreshed and produced better quality work!

To help yourself, set a reminder alarm or check out the The Pomodoro Technique in which the work day is broken down into intervals of working for 25 minutes then taking a break.

How can you take a baby step toward giving yourself breaks during the workday? Notice the results.

Letting Go vs. Over-Focus

The best ideas come racing in at times when we least expect them! I heard a poet’s story of catching poems as they came to her. She knew that she had to jot them down quickly or they’d be gone, on to the next poet willing to write them.

We could be in the shower, on a hike, or chatting with a friend and—zing!—in comes a great idea for a new product, service, or solution.

We could be working extremely hard on a project, focusing intensely, working for long hours with no viable results. Then suddenly, while we’re taking a break and NOT thinking about it, the perfect idea instantly materializes out of thin air.

Find your capture technique. I place the shiny new idea in my phone or on any piece of paper and then, transfer it to a “shiny ideas” folder in my organization system called Things.

How might you let go of the tight hold you have on a project and do something entirely different for a while?

When a bright idea comes, how will you capture it?

Unicorn Visions & Dog Strategies

I saved the wildest idea for last! This whacky exercise kicked my visions and strategies up a few notches!

Backstory: I read mostly nonfiction books so I asked my fiction-reading husband for a vacation book recommendation. He pulled a fantasy book from his collection called, The Last Unicorn. The unicorn theme followed me throughout our vacation! You know, like when you buy a new red car, all you see is red cars?

Surprisingly, the city of Ashland, Oregon that we visited has a high ratio of unicorn stuff to buy so I spotted them everywhere. Then when I got home, I felt an urge to let this wild, unicorn energy into my planning.

Here’s what I did:

• I drew a vertical line down the center of a flip chart page.

• On one side I wrote my Unicorn Visions. I went so big it bordered on ridiculous.

• On the other side, I wrote a corresponding Dog Strategy that was a down-to-earth action step for each Unicorn Vision.

I can be a bit too practical at times. This rather silly process stretched me into a much larger vision for my business. Plus, it was fun!

How might you shift your visioning and strategizing process to go bigger, bolder, and have fun?

WRAPPING IT UP

Fasting seems to be a trend these days. I say we add Email/Social Media Fast to the movement! Summertime is here in the Northern Hemisphere. Vacation time is upon us. Let go of your tight grasp on technology and open to what’s possible when opposites attract.

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I help people lead themselves first so they can go all-in on doing what matters most.

Reach out to me and let’s talk about how I might support you and/or your business in getting what’s most important done.

Coaching • Teams • Workshops • Speaking • Groups

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When to Emulate and When to Originate

In school, we’re always told never to copy a fellow student’s work. That’s cheating! It’s a forbidden, punishable, no-no. But as you move through life, you may find that there are times when imitation can be a valuable technique, especially when you’re in the process of learning a new skill. However, you’ll soon find that to reach the next level of success, you must move from emulation to developing your own expertise. 

After 35 years of working for other companies, I decided to go out on my own almost two years ago. As I built my business, I earned several certifications, received challenge and support from my coach, and was inspired by many people along the way.

I’ve been climbing a steep learning curve. Recently, I hit a plateau. After taking stock of where I had been and where I envisioned going, I saw the next mountain to climb. It was time to stop emulating the people and programs I had learned from, and start refining my own voice and style.

Imagine your teachers, coaches, and mentors as training wheels on a bicycle. If you’re going to truly have fun and excel at riding, you need to lose the training wheels! Yes, you’re going to wobble. You’re going to fall down. Then, you’re going to feel the wind in your hair and have a blast riding!

Here are tips to move from mimicry to “my way:”

Do It Your Way

Use all the material you’ve learned and then, unlearn it, and do it your way.

Frank Boyden, a founder of the nearly 50-year-old Sitka Center for Art and Ecology, envisioned a place where artists could come unlearn all the stuff they had learned in the Masters of Fine Arts programs. He knew that while an education is important, eventually an artist must develop his or her own creative voice to truly be successful.

How can you inject a bit of your voice the next time you’re practicing a new skill? For example, in becoming a better leader. What idea have you held back from sharing with your team? Share it in your way at the next meeting.

Teach, Present, Write

The best way to learn something—and to find your own voice in it—is to teach it! Challenge yourself to teach a class, present an hour-long Lunch & Learn session, or write an article or blog post.

For example, you could learn about presentation skills by attending Toastmasters meetings or watching Ted Talks. After being inspired by people who do it well, find a place to practice speaking in your voice. Volunteer to present at your local Chamber of Commerce, Rotary organization, or other groups that interest you.

Good Theft vs. Bad Theft

Emulating another person’s style or work does not mean flat-out copying it and presenting it as your own. I believe it means paying attention to what you notice other people doing that sparks something inside you. For me, there’s an inner voice I sense that says something like, “Wow! That’s cool!” or “Ooooo, I’d love to learn how to do it like that,” or “Oh. I never thought of doing it that way. I like that.”

In Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon lays it out like this:

Good Theft                                        Bad Theft

Honor                                                 Degrade

Study                                                  Skim

Steal from many                                Steal from one

Credit                                                 Plagiarize

Transform                                          Imitate

Remix                                                 Rip off

Let’s be good thieves, not bad thieves!

You’ve Got It In You

Years ago, I said to my therapist, “My dad drives me crazy because he’s so judgmental!” To my horror, she said, “You know that when we notice something in someone else, it’s because we have it in us, too.” Nooooo! That was not what I wanted to hear, even though she was spot-on.

Since then I’ve learned that the opposite is also true. When I notice a leader who is willing to be authentic, to boldly say what he or she believes, and generously share to help others, I remind myself that I’m capable of that also.

Who are the people that inspire you? What exactly is it that you notice? Know that you also have that quality inside you. What would it look like to express it?

Create for the First Time

Does your work involve designing documents, presentations, videos, forms, systems, websites, etc.? Mine does. I deeply appreciate that building things like that takes a lot of time, energy, and expertise. (I feel the pain!) When people offer to share their work with me, I quickly say, “Yes! Thank you!”

For example, I have used another person’s PowerPoint presentation as a foundation and then customized it with my style. Often when I need to build a new system or process, I ask my Mastermind group members how they do it and then tweak it for myself. Website design inspiration comes from bookmarking websites I love so that when it’s time for me to make changes, I have fuel to stimulate my creative juices.

Wrapping It Up

Children imitate parents. Mentees mirror the style of mentors. Students regurgitate the right answers for exams. Emulation and education help us grow—to a point. Have the courage to kick off those training wheels and ride all-out! Ethically, honorably, and intentionally use the work of others and then, do it your way.

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GROW • STEP OUT • LEAD • DO

I help people grow, so they can step out of their comfort zones, take the lead, and do what matters most to them.

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Are You Hobbling or Helping Yourself?

Pre-blog note: Hi! I took a few months off from blog-posting to re-think what I’m sharing with you. Initially, I wrote short blogs weekly, then I made short videos weekly, and now, I’m experimenting with writing longer, more thoughtful posts monthly. Let me know what you think! Thank you for being here :)

And now…on with this month’s blog post…

Remember the three-legged race popular at family reunions and field days? Racers pair up and stand side-by-side with their arms around each other. Then the two touching legs are bound together and the hobbled racers do their best to dash straight ahead to the finish line! It doesn’t take much for them to tumble over into a giggling heap.

Are your thoughts, feelings, and actions helping you move toward what’s most meaningful to you? Or are they hobbling you, causing you to stumble and perhaps fall just short of your goals?

It’s easy to unconsciously create devices that cause us to flounder and fall. The invisible rope we unintentionally tie around our legs makes it tougher (and a lot less fun!) for us to get anywhere. Recently, I’ve started noticing how I manufacture my own pesky hobbling devices.

I thought about the way I cause my body unnecessary hardship by waiting way too long to step away from the keyboard and stretch. The muscles in my neck, shoulders, and upper back form a Union, striking as one big knot of tension in a desperate attempt to get my attention, pleading with me to stretch them back into fully functional human form.

I also noticed the way I manufacture unhelpful, fearful feelings in my mind long before I begin a project. You know that sinking sensation we can get before stepping out of our comfort zones and taking on a new challenge? We can’t believe we said yes and wonder if we’re up for it. It might sound something like this:

“You’re not a writer/leader/speaker, so why do you think you can pull this off?”

“You’re not smart/experienced/creative enough.”

I even thought back to a time when I limited myself, working too long at a job that did not fit my strengths and passions. I tangled myself up with desk-ridden, rule-laden tasks when inside, my heart’s voice whispered my desire to be connecting more with people.

Seeing our own hobbling devices is tricky because we often aren’t aware that we’re doing it to ourselves. A coach, mentor, or friend’s insight can help us uncover what’s causing our stumbles. Once we see our concealed creations, we can dismantle them.

Dismantling Your Hobbling Devices

Body Comfort

Most of us these days are laboring over a computer keyboard and struggling to do it in a way that doesn’t cause too much discomfort.

In response to my knotted-up neck and shoulders, a clever massage therapist told me, “Jalene, Jalene, stretch your scalene!” You can feel your scalene muscles right now, along the side of your neck, if you tilt your ear toward your shoulder.

Here’s a simple stretch: Stand up. With your arms resting straight by the side of your body, gently lean your ear sideways toward your right shoulder, and hold. If you want more of a stretch, bend your left arm so your wrist is behind your lower back. Go gentle and slow. Listen to your body. Switch sides.

Experiment with ways to increase the comfort level of your body.

Inner Operating System

Our inner operating system is how I think of what we say to ourselves on the inside. We’re usually not aware of it, similar to the OS in our technology devices. An inner sound track loops with words, phrases, and sentences that have the power to take us down, or build us up. Pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself. Is it helping or hobbling you?

That hurtful, critical voice can be a gremlin or saboteur. A common reaction to that voice is to do battle with it, to convince it that it’s not right. That’s wrong. Rick Carson’s book, Taming Your Gremlin, implores people to simply notice. In doing this, Carson says that it taps into an age-old change process often called The Zen Theory of Change: “I free myself not by trying to be free, but by simply noticing how I am imprisoning myself in the very moment I am imprisoning myself.”

Listen to what you’re saying to yourself on the inside, and simply notice.

Draining vs. Energizing

Since we’re often unaware of the hobbling devices we’re building, it’s tough to know where they’re hiding out. The Emotional Intelligence skill of self-awareness can help us find them.

Pay attention to when you feel unreasonably drained, exhausted, or wiped out and, conversely, when you feel energized, excited, or invigorated. Begin making two lists. One for what drains you and one for what energizes you. Don’t be surprised if some things that energized you in the past are now draining you.

You can start by making your lists now. However, I encourage you to continue adding to them over a couple of weeks to see the whole picture.

Take a look at what’s draining you. Are there any hobbling devices there? What might you think, feel, or do to help yourself? What can you let go of doing?

Now, look at what energizes you. Are there any hobbling devices there? What might you think, feel, or do to help yourself? Consider each of these fabulous items. What does it bring you? How can you do more of it?

Holding ourselves back with invisible hobbling devices serves no one—not us or the people in our lives. Break free! By simply noticing, when and where we are tying ourselves up, we can see the devices we’ve created, dismantle them, and free ourselves.

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Guiding Leaders & Teams to Connect & Grow

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With a sense of adventure and heart, we work together at the edge of our comfort zones, so you can accomplish what’s most meaningful to you.

We all get to lead our own lives. Some of us get to lead others.

How do you want to grow as a leader, now? Let’s begin.

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Revive to Thrive

Hey there!

Are you feeling the urge to revive your spirt so you can thrive in the coming year? I sure am.

It’s full-on wintertime, snuggle in time, reflection, celebration, and envisioning time. Remember, I’m here for you if you want a Coach to walk with you toward those big, juicy dreams in 2019. Send me an email or schedule a complimentary Curious About Coaching Session.

In appreciation of the year-end swirl of activity, I’m signing-off until the new year.

Before I leave, I want to share five inspiring images I just found while reorganizing files on my laptop. They contributed to my digital Vision Board in 2017. I still love them! I hope one or more of them speak to the desires in your heart.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene

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2019 Creation Sessions

What are you doing to wrap up 2018 and hit the ground running in 2019?

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I’ve been in my own deep-dive process of reviewing 2018, and designing a system for setting and tracking meaningful goals for 2019. I feel focused on what I want to create and excited to do it!

I’d love to be your partner in:

• Reviewing your accomplishments from 2018

• Designing a 2019 goal setting and tracking system that works for you

• Tapping into the primal power of your values

• Building a support system to inspire and nurture you

Reach out to me and we’ll customize a program for you.

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Always Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Team Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling to authentically communicate with each other so they can get the right work done. Learn more. 

Outside Our Comfort Zone

Hey there!

I’m guessing that you’re a person who dares to step outside your comfort zone, to challenge yourself, to expand what’s possible for you — personally and professionally.

What do you do when you stumble and fall, when reality doesn’t match the brilliant vision in your mind? It’s bound to happen. It happens to all of us who say, “Yes!” to doing something new because it excites us, even though it also scares the heck out of of us. Let’s talk about how we can support ourselves when (not if!) we stumble.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene

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2019 Creation Sessions

What are you doing to wrap up 2018 and hit the ground running in 2019?

View fullsize

Where are you heading in 2019?

I’ve been in my own deep-dive process of reviewing 2018, and designing a system for setting and tracking my most meaningful goals for 2019. I feel focused on what I want to create and excited to do it!

I’d love to be your partner to coach you in:

• Reviewing your accomplishments from 2018

• Designing a 2019 goal setting and tracking system that works for you

• Tapping into the primal power of your values

• Building a support system to inspire and nurture you

Reach out to me and we’ll customize a program for you.

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Always Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Team Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling to authentically communicate with each other so they can get the right work done. Learn more.